Amid the Conflict

"So amid the conflict, whether great or small,

Do not be discouraged, God is over all;

Count your many blessings, angels will attend,

Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end."

Count Your Blessings, Hymns 241

The conflict kept going this week. Racial protests, anger, political posturing, an uptick in COVID-19 cases as the economy has slowly opened, and all the small personal stuff too. Here are the blessings I am especially grateful for this week:

1. Repentance. We are reading the first chapters of Alma right now. He calls us to "be baptized unto repentance that ye may have faith in the Lamb of God". Usually we just rush through the fourth article of faith and think that is the order things come in. Alma is teaching that we have to choose repentance first. Do we want to change and be better? Because that is the pathway to peace, and will lead us closer to Jesus Christ, which is the only way to his Father.  Our Father.  

We helped our neighbor put up this sign in her yard. Griffin balked at it quite a bit. "Only SOME of us need to be better," he asserted. (We are working with him to claim some responsibility for his actions when things go wrong.) Really we ALL need to do better. And maybe we need to think about some difficult things to recognize where we need to improve. I have been reading Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates, which is a letter to his son that reflects a lot of bitterness about racism and white people, but it also comes with a large dose of sadness because he has rejected the idea of a God even as he sees how it brings people peace. The book, and current events especially lately, have definitely opened my eyes to entrenched racism in our country that didn't end with the Civil Rights movement in the 1960's, and it has had me being more introspective about some things I have done that were just wrong and hurtful. But it also gives me a chance to see that repentance really makes it possible to find a way forward. Jesus Christ paid for the hurts I caused and can also help heal the people who are hurting. He is the master healer. And I will do better. The more my eyes are opened the better I can try to love my neighbor as myself.

2. Friends. I have been blessed with angels to attend me so many times. Most of them are sisters who were placed in my life at the exact right time and place. I got to see my actual sisters' faces this weekend on a Google Meet (sorry Lesley, the Zoom meeting didn't work and I forgot to email you the link!). They are so dear to me and have helped me through the best and worst of times.  I also got to Zoom meet with my book club from Michigan again. Alan calls it the Matriarch's Club because these ladies are my older sisters in the church who were married to husbands in bishoprics and stake presidencies. They are the BEST!!! We had a great conversation about race with another sister who was also in our ward while I was there. She is black and generously shared her perspective and experiences with us. We also lucked into seeing our dear friends the Fords at the Athletic Club pool and hanging out not too closely with them for a while. Claire and her daughters feel like very specific blessings for me and my Evie. And their boys are absolutely delightful. Another set of angels I have been grateful for are Frank and Shelly Crespo. As I'm not there with Eliza during this tender time during Juliet's first week, I am so grateful for their generosity and love to Eliza and to us. It was so much fun to get to know them better and to delight in that baby when she came home from the hospital. As I was leaving Shelly and I forgot ourselves and hugged.




3. Help and comfort. Alan Wimmer and his goodness are a huge blessing in my life. He patiently puts up with me as I approach the "change of life" and sometimes act like a sullen teenager. He tries to be careful with me and jolly me along. He works diligently at his consuming job to support our family. He serves the people in our ward with love and determination. He persistently sees the good side of everything, even as I am busy examining the clouds. He teaches our kids to work hard and do good. He is consistently so, so good. He is my greatest earthly help and blessing.

And now, some stuff for fun. A pair of shoes left in a parking lot, some candle-powered boats we tested out, cats, and the cutest granddaughter and daughter pretty much ever.