What is it about piano lessons that makes people cry? The lesson itself brings on tears regularly for my son, and practice almost always makes at least one of them cry. Today, going to Willa's recital nearly brought tears for me. Willa had two really cute songs to perform that she didn't really care about and didn't really practice enough. It was mediocre, which is not how Willa usually plays. And several students played pieces that Mariah and Eliza once played beautifully. I looked down the row at them and had kind of a sad epiphany that I have spent the last ten years of my life and theirs beating the love of music out of them. They used to love playing and now they are pretty much working at getting worse at it. I don't know if it's the age or what I'm doing or just that they have made a very sad choice. (Or alternately, could it just be my emotional state today?) No matter the reason, it leaves me at a woeful crossroad tonight. For how long and how many of them do I continue this work? It feels like much too much effort to put into something my children will ultimately see as only smothering and torture. I'm still trying not to cry.
I don't think you have beat the love of music out of them. I remember how hard it was to practice, but I also remember days when I needed to play. I was much older by then. You have given them an amazing gift: the language of music. Now they can use it when they need it. Whenever that is. I could totally understand if you decided to give up on piano lessons, but don't give up on your kids! They're not done yet!
ReplyDeleteHeather, I seriously wish someone had pushed me harder in piano. It is not fun to have primary kids laugh at you b/c you've messed up so much trying to do your calling. Tell your kids they don't want to end up like Sister Cherry. I can't say it won't backfire trying to force them to do it, but I wish I had spent many more years learning so that I was proficient in playing. Good luck with the kiddos. Tell them I say hi.
ReplyDeletedont worry auntie dear. The twins do NOT hate music. Sounds like they're just sick of playing piano and thats it. I get sick of it too occasionally. Whne I atarted acting that way, Mom set up a system where we all had to play the piano, and play it WELL to get time on the computer (ie: 20 mins practicing=30 mins computer time)But dont worry. Even if they dont like piano as much anymore, nothing will stop them from loving you.
ReplyDeleteWhy are mothers so adept at sending themselves on guilt trips? Don't buy that ticket, sweetheart. A child's attitude is THEIRS. Whatever small part anyone else plays in their state of mind is tiny. It's really theirs to own.
ReplyDeleteYou are a superior guide for your children, a loving and devoted cheering section for their whims and talents, an amazing and discerning judge of ability and character.
Be at peace. You have done and are doing a fantastic job. You, with the Lord's help, will adapt to every stage of your precious children's comings and goings.
I think you are GREAT. Keep it up and keep smiling.
Here's a happy note. We are at Kirsta's today. Came to pick up the Bonneville.
I stand in awe of the women who have already commented. And as always: you're AWEsome. Building a talent has its dull stretches. Maybe everyone had a simultaneous doldrum, but they'll fill those sails again.
ReplyDeleteHave a happy day. I'm going to post something today. Come give me a comment, ok? I live for those.